


And Another

by xploded_tb



Series: Whole Again [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fluff, I'm going to be honest with you that there is pain in this, Love, M/M, but this goes better with piano music, i guess i like torturing myself, not sure if you need tissues, so you guys get involved too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 16:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19834546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xploded_tb/pseuds/xploded_tb
Summary: Thor wakes with the brilliant sun streaming through the window, gently warming the room. Wincing at the bright light, he tries to snuggle further into the warm covers of his bed. Beside him, the sheets rustle and he hears a soft mumble from underneath. A head of black, tousled hair pops out from the roll of blankets, thin lips now slightly puffy and eyes only half-opened.“Good morning, Loki,” says Thor as he places a gentle kiss on Loki’s cheek.Loki, voice still rough with sleep, grunts a greeting in return.





	And Another

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place just after Thor chops off Thanos’ head, where he likely goes off to have Asgardians settle down in New Asgard, all of that done with the Valkyrie. This fic was actually an accident. I hadn’t planned on writing it at all.

Thor wakes with the brilliant sun streaming through the window, gently warming the room. Wincing at the bright light, he tries to snuggle further into the warm covers of his bed. Beside him, the sheets rustle and he hears a soft mumble from underneath. A head of black, tousled hair pops out from the roll of blankets, thin lips now slightly puffy and eyes only half-opened.

Smiling fondly, he chuckles and snuggles closer to his bed partner.

“Good morning, Loki,” says Thor as he places a gentle kiss on Loki’s cheek.

Loki, voice still rough with sleep, grunts a greeting in return.

“Morning…”

Loki shifts to snuggle into Thor’s chest, burying his face into the comforting warmth of his brother. Thor puts his arm over Loki’s waist, loving how wonderfully they fit together. He especially enjoys mornings like these, when his brother is most pliant and receptive to his loving touches and embraces.

It is another lazy and late morning in New Asgard, having slept in since they both had a late night before. But this is what Thor has always wanted. To spend quality time with his brother, to be with the love of his life at any time possible. All he wants is to shower Loki all the love he can. Now that this opportunity is granted to him, he will not let it go to waste.

He shifts his focus to the delectable lips before him. Lifting Loki’s chin with his fingers, he moves forward to claim those pink lips for a kiss, moaning at the softness of those lips.

But it is not enough. Shifting atop of Loki, he presses his hands into the bed on both sides of his brother to get a better angle. Loki moans beneath him, and he takes the chance to slip his tongue in to deepen the kiss. He feels his brother reciprocating the kiss, and a pair of hands encircling his waist.

Yes, this is the life he has always wanted.

Finally, they break the kiss, both feeling rather breathless.

Loki licks his lips as he smiles slyly. “I suppose that was a good morning call.”

“We could lie in bed all day.” Thor waggles his eyebrows suggestively as Loki chuckles.

“We could, or we could catch what is on the television.”

Loki seems glued to the television lately as he has been flicking between channels. He notices that Loki has paid particular attention to quite some dramatic Midgardian series.

“Why are you so obsessed with the TV lately?” Thor asks as he gets off Loki to put on some clothes.

“It is not an obsession, Thor.” Loki replies as he magicks his clothes on and moves into the bathroom to continue the conversation as he freshens up. “I merely enjoy watching the shows to get an idea of what the Midgardians believe to be ‘drama’. And I must say, they are not as dreadful as I had imagined.”

Thor heads into the bathroom for his turn as Loki steps out.

“Is this another plan for that awful play of yours?”

“Why, how did you guess that? I suppose you have grown brighter over the years.”

Thor leaves the bathroom and closes the door behind him. “I believe I’ve just come to understand you better.”

At this, Loki only stares right back at him, completely expressionless.

Worried, Thor almost wants to ask if he has said anything wrong. But his brother breaks into a smile eventually and says nothing else.

They both head into the main living space. Thor heads off to the kitchen to fix up a quick breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast while Loki settles into the couch in the living room to watch his Midgardian drama. Once Thor is done, he brings both their meals and joins Loki at the couch, laughing and making comments at the Midgardian drama.

They are now at the saddest episode of the drama series, where the girl sacrifices everything she has ever had for her lover, only to meet with death.

Thor gets up to get some orange juice from the fridge. He brings a cup back to share with Loki.

“If it were you, how would you have written that ending, Loki?”

His brother gulps a mouthful of it before handing it back to Thor.

“I would have changed it completely. The girl should not have died. The girl should have had her second chance to live out her life with her lover. She deserves that much.”

Thor smiles at this. “You have grown kinder.”

Instead of taking offense, Loki only rolls his eyes at Thor. “I have always been, Thor. It only depends on who deserves that kindness.”

“Have you any to spare for big brother?” Thor puts his arm around Loki, his brother leaning in against his chest and sighing.

“When are you _never_ the recipient of it? You have just been too big of an oaf to actually realize it.”

Thor only hugs his brother closer to him, appreciative of the open affection he is receiving from Loki.

Just like this, they continue their afternoon lazing around the living and watching show after show, laughing and bantering like they always have since they were children. It feels wonderful and relaxing.

Thor looks out the window, seeing the wonderful weather outside. It feels like it has been a little while since he has stepped outside. Ever since he has returned, he has barely left. Really, it’s because his brother always dissuades him from it. But since Loki is in such a good mood today, perhaps today is finally the day they can go out and have a stroll. He smiles and turns to Loki, who is now sitting by the countertop in the kitchen. Since when had Loki moved from the couch? Thor figures he probably dozed off at some point.

“Would you like to go out and catch some sun, Loki? The weather seems to be really good today.”

His brother shakes his head. “Not today, Thor.”

“Why not?”

A sly smile.

“You know that we would rather spend time together here.”

A knock comes from the front door.

Thor gets up to open it. The Valkyrie is standing there with a basket of bread, cheese, some fresh fruit and wine. She looks strangely tired.

“Food for Your Majesty? And do you want to come out for a walk? Got a few things to ask about.”

He looks back at Loki, who only returns a blank look. Perhaps Loki does not really want to meet anyone else after all. He turns back to Valkyrie, who only gives him a strange look.

“I don’t think so, sorry. But thank you for the food, Valkyrie.”

And before the Valkyrie can say anything further, he closes the door.

He sets the basket on the table, and turns to portion out the food – one for him, another for Loki.

Loki’s eyes have yet to leave the door.

“Poor Valkyrie. Why do you turn others away, Thor? They only want to talk.”

“What are you talking about, Loki? Weren’t you the one who said not to go out?”

“I did.”

Loki walks up to Thor, and cups his brother’s cheeks.

“I do treasure our time together, Thor. But I worry for you.” He rubs his thumbs soothingly on his brother’s cheeks, smiling softly. Thor all but melts at the sensation of Loki’s hands on his face, bringing his own up to hold Loki’s. They feel just a little colder than usual. Then again, his brother has always had much cooler skin even when they were kids. He indulged in that when they were young, especially when they were out camping or hunting together. He just thought they felt good to hold. Besides, their hands have always fit perfectly together.

Thor sighs as he leans into the touch. “There is nothing for me to worry about. Not when I have you, brother.”

Then his brother’s hands grow cold, and his smile even colder.

“Do you really?” His smile turning into a cold, menacing grin. “Have you ever really had me, Thor?”

Thor frowns at this sudden change. “Brother?”

“Look at you. You’re pathetic!”

Thor takes a step back, as if scalded. His cheeks where Loki’s hands were feel like they are on fire. Thor feels a chill in the room.

“Did it feel good? Chopping his head off?”

Another step back.

“Did you like seeing the blood gush from his severed neck?”

“Loki…”

“Did you feel like you have avenged me?”

Thor looks down in shame. He suddenly feels scrutinized, and feels an invisible weight on his shoulders that he cannot get rid of. His head feels light, his breathing quickening and his heart hurts.

“Admit it, Thor.”

Loki is unrelenting. He is unforgiving and cruel. Where had the happy, kind Loki he has spent all this time with gone to? He was only just there in the morning, afternoon—

“You see me the way you’ve always wanted to see me. Perhaps you are a better sorcerer than I am. You have managed to create tangible illusions! Oh, the oxymoron!” Laughing maniacally, he shakes his head. “You touch me as if you have ever known my touch, and you whisper sweet nothings to a man who is clearly not real.”

“Stop…” Thor tries weakly as he backs up against a wall, Loki moving another step closer.

“You can’t even muster the courage to tell me what you truly feel. You can’t even bring yourself to admit the cold, hard truth, Thor!”

“ _STOP!_ ” Thor yells, lips trembling. He doesn’t mean to raise his voice against Loki, but he can’t—

In the distance, there is rumbling and streaks of lightning as dark clouds begin to roll in.

“If you can’t face the truth, then I shall say it for you, Thor!”

“Please! Loki! Don’t—”

“ _I am dead, Thor!_ ”

Thor suddenly stiffens, looking completely stricken. Then, he slumps against the wall, sinking onto the floor, feeling drained.

It hurts, so, _so_ much. Thor clutches the front of his shirt, feeling the ache in his chest. The _yearning_. The _loss_. The words he has never wanted to hear from anybody’s lips slices right through him, unrelenting and sharp. He wants his brother back. He does not want to face this alone. There is so much more he wants to do with Loki. There is so much more he _can_ do with Loki. They can rebuild New Asgard together. They can enjoy Midgardian sweets together. Loki would like that, would he not? Together—

“Thor.”

Jolted back to reality—or fantasy, he knows not what is true anymore—he looks into the green eyes before him that is once again gentle and loving.

Loki kneels before his brother and wipes the tears off of Thor’s cheeks.

“Cry no more, Thor. I have given you kindness when I could, but I only wish we had more time. I only wish we could do more. Together. But now…”

Thor sobs. He doesn’t want to let Loki go. If he stops, there will be no more Loki to spend his days with. He will truly be alone.

“I want you to be kind to yourself, Thor.”

Thor looks up, and in Loki’s eyes there is so much love and gentleness. He reaches out—

And his hand grasps at nothing but air before him.

“Loki?”

He tries calling out.

_Nothing._

He gets up and looks over at the couch.

_Nothing._

All he sees is a plate and a cup of unfinished orange juice.

He dashes up to their bedroom. The bed is only big enough to fit one person. He moves into the bathroom, to see only a toothbrush, and a single set of towels.

Crestfallen, he trudges to his bed and sits down on it, staring at nothing in particular. The silence of this room is making it unbearable. His mind, soul and heart are all now empty. How could he be kind to himself, when the one who is supposed to give it to him is no longer here? He is a failure. He has failed in avenging his little brother. He has failed to save their future together.

Balling his fists and bringing them close to his chest, he rocks himself back and forth as he tries to stop the tears threatening to spill. He tries to remember the touches they shared. He tries to remember the feeling of Loki’s lips on his, the warmth of his brother’s smile and the brilliant green of those eyes.

The sniffling turn into sobs, and the sobs turn into uncontrollable tears.

Thor cries.

And with him, the sky mourns for as long as he does, the rain heavy and unrelenting. It grieves like he does as he pours his soul out. It cries like he does as he bawls in agony. It laments like he does as he feels the loss deep in him.

He has no idea how long he has sat there just crying. But once the tears have subsided, he finds himself tired, exhausted. He wants to stop all of this pain. He does not want this awful pain to continue its assault. He wants rest.

He gets up slowly and stumbles downstairs to his kitchen, pulls the fridge door open. The bottle is nice and cool in his hands as he downs it at one go.

He decides that this will do. So he goes for another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t worry. I hate me too. Oh, and who hurt me? EG hurt me. Also I guess I like turning "another!" into a completely sad thing?
> 
> This is kind of? an accidental prequel of sorts to my upcoming multi-chaptered work, so I just hope you aren't too sad after reading this. :'D
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/xploded_tb)!


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